College Rules

To Whom It May Concern:

The chapter in my life entitled College has begun and I have decided that since I am living in the technological age that a blog should come with the turning of this new page.  I have decided while typing this very sentence that I will make this blog about my current events and present thoughts and will refuse to ever do a vlog or at least until they change that disgusting name. I will not always use proper grammar rules, but that is mainly because I do not know them. I was told as a student that I will just learn them by reading books, I am calling bullshit, and as you can read, it is bullshit.


College is totally tits.

Although my journey up here was lacking a lot of tits. I was so excited when I got into the car about to leave Prescott behind and go up to NAU, but instantly my parents destroyed that mood. My father insisted that I brought all the wrong stuff and that my organization of the car was unsatisfactory. I told him that his face was unsatisfactory. Mary Kelly's terrible humor has began to rub off on me. Then my dad told my mother how to drive to Flagstaff, and he suggested she use I-40 to get there. I corrected from the backseat saying that I-17 was better, faster, and stronger. He acted like I was mentally challenged and insisted that I-40 was the way to go. My mom wanting to please me because I was her last child to go to college, chose my path because it was John's day goddammit (her words not mine).

We arrive at NAU 20 minutes faster than we would have on the I-40 and my father was pissed. He ordered my mother to park in the farthest parking lot away, and gave me a look which told me not to challenge him. So we parked about a mile away from my dorm but I didn't care that much because I was at college and about 5 hours from now I would be a free man (Just for clarification, I was never a slave. I am using this term to express my hatred towards my parents at this moment, and their oppressive attitude towards me).

We arrive in my dorm, Cowden Hall, and I go to the booth entitled "Come here for moving in." I giggled at the sign. I approached the booth and offered my name and my student id. The woman then handed me a key and said "Welcome to Cowden! Can I have a MOO!?!?!"

 I looked at her as though she were insane and barked out a "What?" (I said this condescendingly and not in a I didn't hear you way)

She looked at me frightened and said less confidently just in case I hadn't heard her " can I have a moo?"

"What!!" I replied so much more confidently this time.

"Can I have a moo?" This was her last time repeating this statement that she is forced to say.

"Absolutely Not"I replied indignantly I am not mooing for anyone anymore, this is fucking college. My mooing days are far over.

I walked up to my dorm on the 2nd floor and my found my room 249. My roommate had already moved in but wasn't there at the present moment. I stayed in here and smiled for a brief second until I realized that the car was a mile away and I had a lot of stuff to bring up to the 2nd floor.

I went down stairs and I saw that people had gigantic blue crates that had wheels and nice handles to put all their stuff into. I saw a blue crate unattended and empty and I stole it. If you are the owner of that blue crate and are reading this I am sorry, but I was desperate and tired and had not very helpful parents.

I push the blue crate to the truck and load it myself with my parents picking up objects and setting them down in the same place to give the appearance of help. I noticed their lack of help. I pushed the blue crate and my bike down, down the big street causing a clusterfuck of traffic. It was my parents and my apathy that caused that, not me as a person.

I moved all my shit into my room and returned the blue crate to the bottom of the stairs. I returned to my dad cursing about the amount of stuff I brought and how carelessly I put it about my room. I started unpacking and asked my mom to make my bed. My father continued to sit there and I asked him if he could put my clothes in the drawers and put the shirts with the shirts and the pants with the pants. I told him I did not care about the order just that it had some sort of system. My father told me that he isn't very good at this sort of thing and I told him just to try it out, maybe he would surprise himself. He then proceeded to just grab handfuls of clothes and shove them in random drawers. I told him to "STOP STOP STOP FUCKING SHIT STOP." He stopped and then went outside and sat down, ending his contribution to the move in process.

I moved in with little to no help but I am now a college student and thats all that matters.

I am loving it here. I met a kid named Rhoads. I am not even kidding you his name is RHOADS. He is my new best friend, for that and other facts. I miss my friends and its weird when ever I heard the song "There will never be another you" I think of like 5 people. I think that's ironic but those 5 people were extremely unique and the song applies to all of them.

I will have other stories at different times


Live Deliberately
John Kelly